When I broke up in early 2019, I had yet to measure what it was like to be single after 30 years old. More than ten years after starting my first great and beautiful relationship, I discovered that the codes have changed.
Oddly enough, we don’t flirt in the same way in 2021 as in 2009 and before. After this first episode of my life, I found myself lost. Confused in my conception of love, unsettled in my deep desires.
Who can still make my heart beat?
The problem is not me
The past year has been rich in lessons, and for good reason: I experienced my first post-breakup story. It lasted for several months, only to slowly unravel and die out in December. For the first time in my emotional life, I made many concessions on my outlook on life. It was a difficult period for me, but I could deal with it.
The cards were not in our favor, as we did not live in the same region and no reconciliation was expected in the near future. We were very much in love but I knew that we were not on the same wavelength about our desires for commitment. The story ended, it cost me a bit, since it made me doubt myself. She shattered my certainties and my deep conception of love.
In the space of a few weeks, I let myself be won over by the idea that I had to change my vision of things, not ask too much, moderate my ardor and silence my desires for romanticism, if I wanted to be able to conquer a man and him. keep close to me. Every love story, no matter how short, leaves invisible traces that will be kept for life.
Then I got back on my feet. The problem was not me, it was not him, but just an incompatibility of our aspirations. I got back in the saddle, looking for someone who could offer me the best again.
Lost in translation
As the 2022s approach soon and the pandemic state is still here, we’re dating online. I say it frankly: I hate dating sites. I can’t get over it. I can’t bring myself to be listed in a big catalog. Because for me, a beautiful meeting, these are two looks that meet in the street, in a cafe, on the benches of the university or in the workplace. However, recently I discovered a great tool, how to meet Minneapolis singles. I met nice people there and it was one person who made me feel really crazy! Before, I didn’t like dating websites but… I resigned myself to it, to maximize my chances of finding someone who could please and suit me, in an active young life that rubs shoulders with more girls than boys on a daily basis.
My beginnings were difficult. I quickly realized that “looking for a carefree relationship” was a euphemism for “all I want is sex.” I met, very furtively, men without any perspective on anything (“the second degree, Jerome, it is not a temperature”) and others who, faced with my refusal to open my bed to them. after a first date (which was not a great success) cut off all contact after reproaching me for behaving “like a princess”.
It’s hard to get your head around an online chat module. Boring conversations follow each other and look too much alike. I feel like I am immersed in a parallel world where I, my common sense, and my cheerful disposition have no place.
However, in all this atmosphere which is sorely lacking in fun, there are some beautiful nuggets. All is not rosy, but all is not black either. In the end, I decided not to bet everything on these new generation matchmakers and to be definitely very selective. And to trust me, above all.
Do not give in to resignation
I will be 34 years old next May. Sometimes, as many Minneapolis single women, I give in to the blues, I tell myself that time flies and that the years I have left to start a family are dwindling. My moments of doubt never last too long.
I am aware of my potential. I had the good fortune to experience a great story for the first time, I know I can do it all over again. Above all, I do not want to resign myself. Neither compromise on my desires or agree to change to please someone. “Shit happens” and I have to go through it. As we know, there is a real importance to stay strong in any situation.
For the past few months, I have regularly shared with my community, via Instagram, the little adventures of my daily love life. I chose to do it with a lot of restraint, out of modesty, but I know that many of you who follow me have known or are experiencing these same ups and downs in life. Being a blogger or a social media influencer does not preclude having an ordinary existence, with its ups and downs. I love the idea of ??giving a little boost to sad souls going through these difficult times.
I know there is this kind, funny, intelligent, sincere, caring boy somewhere. The one who will gladly receive my marks of attention, my inflamed letters and my bouquets of flowers as a tribute, because I fully assume my masculine side. The one who will get to know every corner of my personality, to always surprise and dazzle me.
My next love story, it can be like a novel, it can make me thrill, because I deserve it. Because we deserve it.
I will maybe try to use dating apps or even dating websites to find what I deserve and set up my personal life. We are all humans and deserve to be happy every day of our life!
I believe that even in this pandemic period, it is still possible to find a perfect partner and make some pleasant plan for the future!